- #HOUSE FLIPPER GAME THE SMOTH FAMILY WANTS EVERY HOUSE MOVIE#
- #HOUSE FLIPPER GAME THE SMOTH FAMILY WANTS EVERY HOUSE SERIAL#
- #HOUSE FLIPPER GAME THE SMOTH FAMILY WANTS EVERY HOUSE UPGRADE#
That really pulls the room together.in a loner serial killer kind of way. After trying to hide it in a few spaces I decide to embrace it instead and make it a focal point of the room. However, my attempts to create a respectable living space are stymied by a chainsaw (?!) that's sitting in the corner, which I can't get rid of.
Regardless, I push ahead, throwing away all the old boxes and cans and tidying up as best I can.
I try it out by cleaning my disgusting toilet.
#HOUSE FLIPPER GAME THE SMOTH FAMILY WANTS EVERY HOUSE UPGRADE#
Stains are cleaned by vaguely waving a mop – which looks suspiciously like a broom – in their general vicinity.Įven I have enough real-world experience to know that's totally not how you mop, but it gets the job done, so whatever! After swabbing everything that looks dirty, I gain enough experience to upgrade my cleaning skills! This game is already better than real life!Īs tempting as "see some dirt in minimap" is as far as skills go (this should be an option in ALL games that have minimaps), I go with "good mop" instead – only to find that my totally-a-broom mop has been replaced by a totally-a-push-broom mop. Most of the cleaning is instantly performed by pressing a button when the game gives you a "dispose" prompt. My new home/office/room-sized toilet is a real pit, so I waste no time cleaning up the mess. I know this because the front door is barricaded by a giant pile of trash – classic squatter tactics. Instead, I'm told I have to get my business off the ground, which I'm apparently running out of a shack that I've claimed via squatter's rights. Could this finally be a gateway into my wife's weird obsession with watching other people do housework? Could it reverse my bias against home improvement that Tim Allen instilled in me so many years ago? Would I leave the game with the knowledge necessary to transform our real-life home into our own personal palace? There was only one way to find out!Īct I: From Humble Beginnings Act I: From Humble Beginningsĭespite what the name House Flipper led me to believe, I'm not actually able to dive right into flipping homes when I start the game. That's why I was both excited and scared when I received a press release for House Flipper, a game about cleaning up and repairing homes for profit.
#HOUSE FLIPPER GAME THE SMOTH FAMILY WANTS EVERY HOUSE MOVIE#
As such, I'm depressingly familiar with all of the big shows: Clone Creeps, Lady and the Dork, Two F'ing Flops, These Guys Should Star In A Saw Movie Together, and Holmes On Homes, which is the only improvement show I respect because Mike Holmes is the BAMF of house repair.Īnyway, as my obsession with Stardew Valley proved, my disdain for a real-life activity doesn't preclude me from mindlessly performing the same act in a video game for hours on end. My wife is the one with the fetish for watching neurotic people fix up houses – I merely serve as a captive witness, because it beats using that time to do real-life improvements to our own home. A little sweat equity goes a long way toward making a real estate investment profitable.If you're like me, you've probably watched a million home-improvement television shows over the years – and if you're REALLY like me, it's not because you wanted to.
Successful advocates of the fix-it-and-flip-it philosophy are investors, with the investor’s mantra of “buy low, sell high.” So they purchase run-down homes at bargain prices and save money on the repairs by doing most of the work themselves. Updating an investment property is generally a sound strategy-if it’s done the right way. The Difference Between Investors and Owners Personal preference projects include swimming pools, tennis courts, hot tubs, wine cellars, basement game rooms, and ponds.Value-added amenities include new siding, kitchen renovations, and new windows.Curb appeal items include a well-manicured lawn, low-cost landscaping, fresh paint inside and out, cleaned carpets, and new fixtures.The basics include a roof that doesn’t leak, functioning gutters and downspouts, a dry basement, a reliable furnace, solid floors, walls that are in good repair, and retaining walls that work.Not all of them provide a high return on investment. There are four types of renovation projects: basics, curb appeal, value-added, and personal preference.
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